Today

Basically this is all we have. My 2yo daughter fell asleep an hour ago which gives me and my fat cat Izzy time to breathe and sit in silence. Here we are, on a comfy couch, Lagos, Algarve, Portugal. I wasn’t born here, I never thought I would end up being isolated in a small T1 apartment on the end of Europe. Rainy day, the ocean is more or less calm, seagulls try to navigate in the strong wind. Birds are singing, cat snores and I think, overthink a bit. Anxiety comes and goes when you’re isolated. But it’s not a bad place to be after all, this small apartment. And I’m not alone. I remember a time when I isolated myself on purpose but for a very sad reason. I’ve decided to move to Portugal because in Warsaw, where I was living for 14 years I ended up being really depressed. Spending 14-15h in the office, coming back home just to drink myself to sleep, sober up and repeat. After a while your friends give up on you as you’re not answering any calls and skip all the meetings. Grey skies, grey buildings and slowly bad thoughts offer you very bad solutions. I knew that if I won’t change anything I will die. Why I write all of this? Because now I feel prepared for this situation. When you’re alone for too long and have access to the bottle it’s very easy to reach the bottom. I saved myself then and refuse to be a depressed cabbage now! Life has so much to offer, we must focus on NOW like tomorrow would not exist. One step at a time, and believe me you’re not alone in this. I have plenty of stories to tell. This is my first step ❤